October 1, 2025

I can't believe it's October already. It feels like we were just swimming, trying to stay ahead of the A.C. My summer sabbatical was in full swing. The days trickled slowly by, sunsets were spent around the pool, sipping mocktails and soaking up every last bit of summer's sun. Lots of board games and star gazing was had, along with the bi-weekly visit to our local farmer's market. Lot's of friendship gatherings and cookouts too, although, I didn't make it to everyone! What a blessing that is, to have a waiting list of that variety!

August was a blur. In September, I found myself rushed, stressed in some areas, and dodging discontentment, but just like the seasons, things change. Sometimes the moments in between the shifts, seem the hardest part. 

Here we are, October, and I'm on my newly refloored front porch, midday, in a sweatshirt and shorts. The summer blooms of the buddleia plant are dark and crumbly, the remnant of their sweet florals easily crushed between my fingers. The pineapple sage, however, and its fiery red blossoms alight behind golden, barely clinging, dogwood leaves. It is beautiful. Every season different and special in its own way. 

I love fall. It's my favorite time of year. Football, important anniversaries, and the slight chill that begins to dance just over the horizon, along with the warm brightness of the colors, comforts me. The fauna and flora seem wilder; different species of moth and butterfly with every color combination imaginable visits my flowers. They're not so recognizable as their common monarch and swallowtail cousins. Just one little delicate surprise after the next, soaking up the year's last bits of sunlight before winter comes again. There's hope in that. In knowing that life is full of circles and cycles and eventually things do work out, in their own way, in their own time. 

🍁

This space began as a place to celebrate the wonder and beauty of my neck of the woods. I wanted this to be a happy respite from the overwhelming darkness and sadness around, but I was grieving when I started. The grief needed an outlet and that's what this became. As it went on, I shared hard and personal stories, trying to "find the good," in all of it. 

Grief touches everything. Nothing escapes it. It's like this shadow that reaches all the light parts. It's like wearing a pair of sunglasses on a bright day. Grief, like a season, changes you. It changes the way you see things. It changes the way you interact with others. It can make you bitter. I'm not saying I'm bitter, but my little rain cloud has followed me into spaces that wouldn't have been touched, had I not experienced such loss. I'm definitely more sarcastic now and my jokes run a little dark and pessimistic, to the point that they're not really funny. After lots of reflection I feel like it's time to step out and into the light and cultivate a sense of gratitude. The truth is, I have blessings upon blessings and no real reason for the sarcasm. 

Moving forward, this space will be a place for kindness, goodness, patience and love. I won't ignore the challenges in my life, but I won't celebrate them either, and I will not make them the sole focus of this space. 

A new leaf has turned, expect heart warming stories ahead. 

-Jess